April 11 2023 – Henrieta Haniskova
It's has been 8 years since my sweet little girl was born. Like to every mother, her girl is a little princess. I had a perfect baby and I had no idea to what extent my life would change.
If you are pregnant and are feeling the changes happening in your body, you are probably starting to get an idea of the shifts your life is about to make. And if your baby is in your arms, then you definitely know that no amount of talking, reading, babysitting can ever prepare you for what motherhood actually is.
There is a word that Dana Raphael PhD coined in 1973, Matrescence. This is a transition a woman goes through from pre-conception through pregnancy and birth or surrogacy, or for some adoption to the postnatal period and far beyond. There is no specific time limit to this experience and for some it is the remainder of their lifetime.
I felt an enormous relief when I heard a somatic experiencing therapist who dedicated her life to working with mothers, talk about her experience and the intensity of a child's attachment to the mother in their first 10 years of life.
There are small things that stress us out in early motherhood and we lose sleep over, there is also the bigger picture of how our lives will be changed completely for the rest of our lives.
My life was full when I got pregnant and thought I had space and time for a baby. I dedicated my days to my passion and I loved everything about it. Growing my career and my business was my dream life, I was hoping it would only get better with a little person in my life. And it was, is. Only the idea of life I had completely crumbled and I was left rebuilding myself and my life from the ground up. I changed my career to be able to be present for my girl and be the mother I wanted to be to her. I found a new passion and realized I have a lot more dimension to who I am than I realized. I am a lot stronger than I ever thought I would be or would ever need to be. I have grown and Matrescence has been a real roller-coaster of emotions and growth for me. I hope I can support you in yours.
The nesting and the growing belly is the fun part, so are the early years, as hard as they may seem. Because being there and available to your baby is the most important urge a mother feels. Often other needs are left neglected and we suffer through selflessly. But eventually a balance needs to be established, so that you have enough in your heart and your own nervous system is in a state where you can be present and be a guide to your children and foster their little hearts to balance they need as well.
In my early motherhood days, I created a formula for my little girl's skin that was struggling horribly. We are very pale skinned people. Eastern European skin is very white and thin, and my baby girl had every skin issue a baby can possibly display. My sweet sisters sent me all kinds of products that they swore by. And some of them were truly wonderful, but I was determined to use cloth diapers I had invested money in and didn't want to destroy them with pasty Zinc oxide creams.
I stayed up at nights nursing my baby and to not fall asleep I would study. I already had a nursing degree and a good understanding of the human body and the pathologies of the skin, but I wanted to understand skincare and available ingredients and their effect. It was months of trial and error and a lot of deep diving into reading studies and research, ruined batches of formulas that didn't work out or didn't feel right. I wanted the best I could have for my girl, her delicate skin and the issues that kept popping up, that nobody prepared me for!
We loved my formula so much, I decided to turn it into a business, because other moms need support too and looking around at the products available on the market, I wanted to share and give other moms good night's sleep too. Because the added stress of watching your baby's skin turn blotchy, dry, peeling, inflamed and ouchie is horrible and unnecessary when you know you can put healthy and safe product on that is effective and will make a difference over time without causing any issues long term.
Of course we were offered steroid cream. As a nurse I was upset and frustrated. Yes it worked for the moment, but it was obvious that it was thinning my baby's skin and as a nurse I really did not want to resign myself to long term steroid use on a tiny baby.
If you are seeing these issues, stick around I will teach you how to solve this without stress and tears.
In the trenches of early motherhood which is often accompanied by social isolation if your friends are not having babies at the same time, I found my tribe. I found new friends and emotional support from women who were experiencing the same emotions as me. I created a business out of my creativity, curiosity, resilience, determination, love for my baby. If that is not an expression of growth through Matrescence, I don't know what is!
This business also gave me the push to study clinical aromatherapy, which always interested me. I looked for natural and organic skincare for myself from an early age and often created my own potions and serums. But studying it deeply, researching and writing papers gave me another push. I was fortunate enough to study with a very experienced aromatherapist who specialized in studying carrier oils and wrote several books on skincare. And gained a whole new profession that I love. The complimentary medicine that aromatherapy offers can support your skin, your hormonal health, mental health and a lot more with the right use of aroma, which unlike many medications crosses blood-brain barrier without causing damage to your body and can support formation of supportive emotional states.
Through the years of creating formulas for moms and babies I have learned so many ways of utilizing this skincare to better my life by working with my nervous system to be able to balance myself, my life and be more present and available to my daughter. The versatility of one tin is incredible and I will show you all the ways you can benefit from it. It will become your daily companion and the best tool in your "mama is here to fix all your booboos" belt.
Let's learn and play here and support each other. You can always email me with questions or concerns and I will be happy to share my experience and the knowledge that I learned through my transition through Matrescence so far.
Tagged: baby, baby skin, matrescence, Mom, mom to be